F*ck Fear

I was kicking ass. I was on top of the world. I spent my morning dancing and singing in the kitchen and annoying the crap out of my little sister (what I do best). The dog started barking so I went to go get her. I glanced over the side of the porch and there she was, sitting in the grass, staring at the fence hoping to see the neighbor’s dog so she could start barking again.

I’m bopping around, not paying attention to my feet, per usual. I approach the steps and then all of a sudden, I realize, “I’m going down.” As my head starts plummeting towards the ground, I thought to myself, “You got this. I’m going to land on my feet.” Nope. Not even close. And there I was, lying on the ground with one hand resembling ground beef, a bruised shoulder and a scraped up knee.

This is not the first time something like this has happened to me. I could confidently say that I am one of the most clumsiest people I know. I have always been clumsy. The scars on my right knee can prove it. All those rollerblading and biking accidents seem so cool in theory, but the reality of it is, is that I ran into parked cars and hit one piece of gravel with my rollerblades and wen’t down. Thanks gravity!

My fear has crippled me. I have avoided activities like hiking, paddle boarding, kayaking, etc my entire life because of it. I avoid things that scare me, that may cause me to fall, or feel vulnerable. So….here I am, avoiding opportunities in life due to fear and STILL falling down the stairs.

I’m working on this part of me. The part of me that allows fear to control my life. But why do I allow the fear and the what-if’s to control me? Good question. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I fall? Well, been there done that. I can’t seem to avoid that no matter how hard I try. Then I think to myself, well….every time I have fallen, I’ve always gotten back up. No matter how long I’ve cried in pain and sat in my pool of drool (growing up I was a little dramatic), I got back up. Life moved on.

WOW. Now I’m sitting on my couch thinking about how many times I have avoided opportunities because of fear. I ask myself: What is the worst thing that can happen…..someone rejects me, someone makes fun of me, someone doesn’t like me. What could happen if I said yes? I could make new friends, learn, grow, relate to others, and enjoy life.

I guess the moral of this story is to tell myself to keep moving forward. I need to stop avoiding activities and life because of FEAR. I’m making a promise to myself today to continually try to kick fear in the ass and learn to say YES.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Fear took over my life but I’m on the track to overcoming them I’ve recently I’ve come my fear of flying and can now fly without diazepam which is s big thing for me! Hope it works out for you take it step at a time and don’t feel bad if you take a step back X
    https://littleboxoftreasures903.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your support!

      Like

  2. kellydw says:

    And run like Phoebe!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jerry says:

    Well said, we will never look back when we are older and say man I’m glad I played it safe…. Go kick some ass, take names and smile. life is short ..live it large.

    Liked by 1 person

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